I'm not made of stone... The people that "know me" perceive me as the funny girl that's always making silly things to make other people happy. Well, that's me 99% of the time, but there are some days that are just too hard for me to handle, and in those days I can't pretend anymore and eventually the mask falls off.
Since I was a little girl I've been saying the same thing over and over again: "I don't like people".
And don't get me wrong, when I was little I always smiled at strange people passing by with an welcoming "GOOD MORNING". And maybe that was my fault, I was convinced that all people were good and that was my biggest mistake. I was screwed over so many times by people closest to me, and called names by people that didn't even knew me.
I have now this big wall surrounding me from problems ( = people ), but when something or someone that I consider important gets in all I have to do is wish for the best.
I'm a truly unlucky person, and I don't have happy endings that often. And this couple of months have been extremely difficult for me to cope.
I'm being extremely comprehensive about all that's happening, trying not to think too much to not feel too much. I'm a strong person, I endure so many things and do everything by myself, but I think I just found my weak spot, for the first time in my life, and I truly don't know what this means and it kills me that I can't do nothing... Ok, so I'm over thinking again. And that's why that I need to be distracted by simple things that will warm my heart for at least a couple of hours.
This is a list for people that prefer to be by themselves when they are sad. I'm the worst people when it comes to unburden my problems to someone, I've always been the one to listen to my friends' problems not speaking of my one's.
-Do a tv series marathon! ( And cry if you need to )
-Indulge yourself with some food you love!
-Drink some hot beverage
-Don't wear your pajamas, find something extremely cute and cozy to wear, you will feel so much better
-Take a long hot shower or a bath if you can
-Stay busy, go take some photos in your neighborhood, bake some delicious cookies, plan your outfits, paint your nails, read a book while doing a face mask, read my blog ahah
-Listen to music, DANCE and sing
-Try not to think too much about what's hurting you and don't make hypothetical scenarios (that's your worst enemy). When they appear in your head say "F*ck off, I'm trying to relax".
And know that everything will fall in it's place at it's own time. Don't try to rush things, you will be alright, trust me. And I will always be here for you when you need me.